Hope your weekend is going well, here's a cover of Billy Bragg and Wilco's When The Roses Bloom Again
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
Top Five Friday: 5 Films Rewritten By Playwrights
Happy end of the week everyone! Here are five popular movies seen through the theatrical lens of the playwright:
1.Jaws by Federico Garcia Lorca
We all know the infamous tale of Brody, Hooper and Quint's quest to put to death the natural terrorist known as "the shark". But through the eyes of the Spanish poet, the shark would be seen as a majestic creature, injured off the Atlantic coast, trapped by its beauty amongst the jealous sea creatures. As the film progresses, the shark comes to terms with its injury and swims towards the coast, breaking the heart of a sea otter. Finally the shark is free from the judgmental society of the sea creatures and leaps into the air, embracing her independence. And then a spear flies through the shark, killing her on spot. Because life isn't fair.
2.Cheaper by the Dozen by Henrick Ibsen
Few can forget the heart warming tale of Steve Martin's character Tom Baker becoming the father everyone knows he is as his family of 12 moves from rural somewhere to urban somewhere. And surprisingly, Ibsen's version would be quite similar except that all the children would have some sort of social disorder. Wife Kate Baker would feel trapped by her large family and domineering husband, Tom would be undergoing masculinity issues and Lorraine Baker (played by the up and coming Hilary Duff) would be hiding a duck in the attic that she eventually dies trying to protect. The family would come together over the loss of one of their dozen but just when the family decides to celebrate Lorraine's life by all doing the tarantella and eating macaroons, a letter arrives from a distant relative explaining that Tom has lost all of his money and the family must sell their house and move into a shelter. Because no one is innocent.
3.Wild Hogs by Tennesse Williams
Oh the antics of Tim Allen, John Travolta, Martin Lawrence and... um... William H. Macy? What's the lead of Fargo doing in this movie? See, if Williams had his way, the movie wouldn't be about a fun motorcycle road trip, it would be about each character's individual struggles. Tim Allen is a bored southern belle who collects glass figurines of pigs. John Travolta is a Polish immigrant pushed out of his sense of the world by his wife's sister. Martin Lawrence is a man emerging from poverty that has married into a rich southern family but feels unfulfilled by his new life. And William H. Macy steals the film as his portrayal of the "mad heroine" in this piece, wanting to return home to his beloved while the other characters are using the motorcycle ride to run away from their problems. At the end of the film, someone opens up Macy's bag to reveal that all the love letters that keep reminding Macy of home are all fake. The only happy character in the film has been living a lie this whole time. Because life is a lie.
4.Liar Liar by Arthur Miller
In the hands of Arthur Miller, Liar Liar would be the tale of a proud lawyer who feels that his sense of American is disappearing, which is symbolized in the beginning of the play as tax collector asks protagonist Fletcher Reede for his middle name. Reede's middle name, an effeminate middle name, is a word of shame for Reede and he refuses to divulge that information. In order to return to his sense of America, Reede declares that he will never say an untrue word again. Days later, government agents arrive at his house and ask him if he knows of any illegal immigrants or communists in his neighborhood. Reede turns in half the neighborhood. Disgusted, his wife Audrey leaves him, along with his son. Left alone in the house, Reede starts to lose his mind. The tax collector returns from the beginning and asks again what Reed's middle name is. Again, Reede refuses to answer and cops pull up outside, all demanding the information. The tax collector asks why Reede will not divulge and Reede screams "BECAUSE IT'S MY MIDDLE NAME!" as he is shot by cops. Because the American dream is dead.
5. Next by Samuel Beckett
Surprisingly, avant-garde playwright Samuel Beckett wouldn't change a thing about the movie. In fact, the sheer lack of logic in the film plays right into Beckett's style. Nicolas Cage would still play Frank Cadillac, a kinda-psychic that sees two minutes into the future and instead of making lots of money or advancing science, he does shit magic tricks in Vegas. Half way through the film, you realize that his name, Frank Cadillac, is just a collection of cultural references (Frankenstein + Cadillac cars) and inexplicably he changes his name. The film would go on with very little causal structure, the role of Cadillac's powers would without notice become either stronger and weaker and at the very end of the film you realize that everything you were watching was pointless and never actually happened. Because... actually no one but Samuel Beckett knows why the film ends like this.
All things considered though, it's still a bit more uplifting than the other ones!
Have a great weekend, everyone!
1.Jaws by Federico Garcia Lorca
We all know the infamous tale of Brody, Hooper and Quint's quest to put to death the natural terrorist known as "the shark". But through the eyes of the Spanish poet, the shark would be seen as a majestic creature, injured off the Atlantic coast, trapped by its beauty amongst the jealous sea creatures. As the film progresses, the shark comes to terms with its injury and swims towards the coast, breaking the heart of a sea otter. Finally the shark is free from the judgmental society of the sea creatures and leaps into the air, embracing her independence. And then a spear flies through the shark, killing her on spot. Because life isn't fair.
2.Cheaper by the Dozen by Henrick Ibsen
Few can forget the heart warming tale of Steve Martin's character Tom Baker becoming the father everyone knows he is as his family of 12 moves from rural somewhere to urban somewhere. And surprisingly, Ibsen's version would be quite similar except that all the children would have some sort of social disorder. Wife Kate Baker would feel trapped by her large family and domineering husband, Tom would be undergoing masculinity issues and Lorraine Baker (played by the up and coming Hilary Duff) would be hiding a duck in the attic that she eventually dies trying to protect. The family would come together over the loss of one of their dozen but just when the family decides to celebrate Lorraine's life by all doing the tarantella and eating macaroons, a letter arrives from a distant relative explaining that Tom has lost all of his money and the family must sell their house and move into a shelter. Because no one is innocent.
3.Wild Hogs by Tennesse Williams
Oh the antics of Tim Allen, John Travolta, Martin Lawrence and... um... William H. Macy? What's the lead of Fargo doing in this movie? See, if Williams had his way, the movie wouldn't be about a fun motorcycle road trip, it would be about each character's individual struggles. Tim Allen is a bored southern belle who collects glass figurines of pigs. John Travolta is a Polish immigrant pushed out of his sense of the world by his wife's sister. Martin Lawrence is a man emerging from poverty that has married into a rich southern family but feels unfulfilled by his new life. And William H. Macy steals the film as his portrayal of the "mad heroine" in this piece, wanting to return home to his beloved while the other characters are using the motorcycle ride to run away from their problems. At the end of the film, someone opens up Macy's bag to reveal that all the love letters that keep reminding Macy of home are all fake. The only happy character in the film has been living a lie this whole time. Because life is a lie.
4.Liar Liar by Arthur Miller
In the hands of Arthur Miller, Liar Liar would be the tale of a proud lawyer who feels that his sense of American is disappearing, which is symbolized in the beginning of the play as tax collector asks protagonist Fletcher Reede for his middle name. Reede's middle name, an effeminate middle name, is a word of shame for Reede and he refuses to divulge that information. In order to return to his sense of America, Reede declares that he will never say an untrue word again. Days later, government agents arrive at his house and ask him if he knows of any illegal immigrants or communists in his neighborhood. Reede turns in half the neighborhood. Disgusted, his wife Audrey leaves him, along with his son. Left alone in the house, Reede starts to lose his mind. The tax collector returns from the beginning and asks again what Reed's middle name is. Again, Reede refuses to answer and cops pull up outside, all demanding the information. The tax collector asks why Reede will not divulge and Reede screams "BECAUSE IT'S MY MIDDLE NAME!" as he is shot by cops. Because the American dream is dead.
5. Next by Samuel Beckett
Surprisingly, avant-garde playwright Samuel Beckett wouldn't change a thing about the movie. In fact, the sheer lack of logic in the film plays right into Beckett's style. Nicolas Cage would still play Frank Cadillac, a kinda-psychic that sees two minutes into the future and instead of making lots of money or advancing science, he does shit magic tricks in Vegas. Half way through the film, you realize that his name, Frank Cadillac, is just a collection of cultural references (Frankenstein + Cadillac cars) and inexplicably he changes his name. The film would go on with very little causal structure, the role of Cadillac's powers would without notice become either stronger and weaker and at the very end of the film you realize that everything you were watching was pointless and never actually happened. Because... actually no one but Samuel Beckett knows why the film ends like this.
All things considered though, it's still a bit more uplifting than the other ones!
Have a great weekend, everyone!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Three Paragraph Thursdays: The Story of Job
Hello and welcome to Three Paragraph Thursdays: short prose told in three paragraphs. To start us off is the brilliant Ben Margalith's three paragraph version of one of the most famous con story of all time: the Story of Job. Enjoy the rest of your week!
Ok, so: God is omnipotent and has already created the world. One day the devil comes to him and says, “Hey God! I bet you that if you take your most loyal and faithful servant and shit on him (like hardcore) then he’d hate you”. God, a well known gambling addict, couldn’t resist taking the bet. He quickly replies “Maybe he will and maybe he won’t, but fuck it you’re on! So who’s the mark?”
So God starts to mess with Job, his- like “number one fan or something”. He kills Jobs wife and disfigures Job’s body so much that the mere sight of him make people’s faces explode or something. Sometime post-wife dying, but preface exploding, Job looks to the heavens and says “God, I don’t know why this is happening, but my faith is strong. I love you man!” The Devil just about shits himself (half in anger and half because of little known incontinence problem). He convinces God that Job needs to suffer some more. So God, on the sly, murders Job’s kids and destroys his business. But, instead of crying and cursing, Job just gets like a big ol’ boner for the child murdering God of Abraham.
God sees Job’s faith and basically gives him an updated version of his old life complete with a Jet-Pack and Jacuzzi. God tells the Devil, “There, see! I think I proved my point quite well”. The Devil answers “I guess so… uh… what point was that again?” God shrugs and replies “No clue, but want to huff some glue”. We learned later that God had suffered a stroke sometime after the parting of the red sea. True Story.
The End
Ok, so: God is omnipotent and has already created the world. One day the devil comes to him and says, “Hey God! I bet you that if you take your most loyal and faithful servant and shit on him (like hardcore) then he’d hate you”. God, a well known gambling addict, couldn’t resist taking the bet. He quickly replies “Maybe he will and maybe he won’t, but fuck it you’re on! So who’s the mark?”
So God starts to mess with Job, his- like “number one fan or something”. He kills Jobs wife and disfigures Job’s body so much that the mere sight of him make people’s faces explode or something. Sometime post-wife dying, but preface exploding, Job looks to the heavens and says “God, I don’t know why this is happening, but my faith is strong. I love you man!” The Devil just about shits himself (half in anger and half because of little known incontinence problem). He convinces God that Job needs to suffer some more. So God, on the sly, murders Job’s kids and destroys his business. But, instead of crying and cursing, Job just gets like a big ol’ boner for the child murdering God of Abraham.
God sees Job’s faith and basically gives him an updated version of his old life complete with a Jet-Pack and Jacuzzi. God tells the Devil, “There, see! I think I proved my point quite well”. The Devil answers “I guess so… uh… what point was that again?” God shrugs and replies “No clue, but want to huff some glue”. We learned later that God had suffered a stroke sometime after the parting of the red sea. True Story.
The End
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Poetic Waste Wednesday: The Grapes
Hello and welcome to Poetic Waste Wednesdays. We'll be doing some mock-poetry on Wednesdays so enjoy! As for this week, here's a little verse about New Year's celebrations.
The Grapes
Ah the fermented grapes
The sweet and tart wafting smell
Crimson river like liquid blood drapes
From Dionysus' cup fell
It clings to the carpet like habit
Aphrodite's lustful dress
With a moist towel I dab at it
And that's how you clean up the mess!
Or you can use baking soda
Or pour salt onto the stain
I saw it on last week's Operah
Just don't spill my wine again
Asshole
The Grapes
Ah the fermented grapes
The sweet and tart wafting smell
Crimson river like liquid blood drapes
From Dionysus' cup fell
It clings to the carpet like habit
Aphrodite's lustful dress
With a moist towel I dab at it
And that's how you clean up the mess!
Or you can use baking soda
Or pour salt onto the stain
I saw it on last week's Operah
Just don't spill my wine again
Asshole
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