Three Paragraph Stories: Mary, Broken

We haven't yet hosted a three paragraph horror (unless you count the story of Job as one) so here is a very dark three paragraph story.

It took a lot to set Mary off. So when she woke up in her boyfriend's cramp bed and threw off the scratchy covers to check the time just to find out she was late for work, she was overall quite collected despite a mild headache. She tugged on her pants and pet her boyfriend's cat which purred in her hands. Then she pulled on her shoes and jostled downstairs to her car. At work her boss griped at her for arriving twenty minutes late. There was nothing Mary could do but nurse her temples and hope her headache would go away. She spent the day answering telephones as consumers called in to complain about their computer software until they realized their computers weren't plugged in to begin with. And she kept answering phones, tapping away at her sticky keyboard.The lights flickered and cast a disgusting light upon her wilting salad, but Mary maintained, holding the cold dressing against her forehead. And then a piece of paper arrived on her desk which would change everything. The paper was a completely normal report, normal font, normal size page, nothing was outside the ordinary except when Mary lifted the post-it that read "Read Me" on it, there was another, a completely unnecessary and wasted, post-it. And inexplicably, for reasons that will forever be unknown, Mary's headache went away. And she snapped.


She walked out of the office building with a keyboard drenched in red. The office guard followed the trail of crimson while screaming into his walkie talkie until he spotted Mary about to enter her car. He grabbed her shoulder and she spun around, digging her heel deep into this thigh. She dragged him down near the bottom of her car and before he could relieve his shock, she slammed the car door against his neck with such force that his entire body went limp. She climbed in and drove off without any destination in mind. After about three minutes of speeding down a street, she stopped and entered a liquor store, grabbing a bottle of wine and bludgeoning the cashier until she couldn't block the door anymore. Mary then tried uncorking the wine with her teeth and that didn't work, she smashed it against a brick wall and continued to sip at the jagged neck until she got back to her boyfriend's place. She sat down on his couch waiting for him to return and occupied her time thinking about how she was starving. Then she heard a purring sound from beneath the sofa.


When the trail of blood ended, splashes of wine lead police to Mary's boyfriend's apartment. They kicked down his door to find Mary chewing at a leg. She hissed at them and threw both the leg and the now empty bottle of wine at the police. They dodged the attack and followed Mary into the kitchen where she grabbed a knife and raced at the police who were forced to defend themselves. Mary fell to the floor with a sick grin on her face and she spent her last breath hissing at the officers. Her eyes went dark, darker than before at least, and Mary's arms stretched out across the floor. It took a lot to set Mary off, and no one will ever understand what made her break that day.

Terribly Told Videos Extended!

Hello, everyone! Due to... life, we are going to extend the deadline for the Terribly Told video contest to Feb. 15th

If you're confused about what we're talking about, be sure to visit:

http://dailyturnonblog.blogspot.com/2010/01/terribly-told-video-competition.html

Poetic Waste Wednesday: Summer Rain

Summer Rain

Pitter patter goes the rain
Onto my roof shingles
Drippy drop through the cracks
Splish sploshing down the walls
Plippity plot onto my floor
Aaaaand there goes my insurance money

Terribly Told Stories: Lost Puppy

Sorry to bring down the mood dudes but here's a terribly told story about a puppy.

Monday Movies: Dance, Singh!

Maninderpal "Manny" Singh (Shahrukh Khan) is your average Sikh culinary student. Manny goes to school, he plays cricket, and most importantly, he does not dance. But when the cutest girl at his university Mayree "Mary" Mangeshkar (Preeti Zinta) makes it to CCTV's "Best Dance Duo", Singh decides to put down his spatula and really heat things up. But Manny realizes he is in deeper than he thinks when he runs across Mary's father, the mafia boss Mohinderpratap Mangeshkar (Salman Khan), or as he is known in his crime circle, "Daddy Tapdat". Along side his estranged twin brother (Shahrukh Khan), Manny must stop Daddy Tapdat from turning the Best Dance Duo stage into a hostage situation and save Mary from her criminal father.

With a hit soundtrack from Oscar-winning composer A. R. Rahman, this film's contemporary cinematography, fast action and phat beatz will keep you on your feet all the way to the discos. You know what they say, if you can't handle the heat, get off the dance floor.

Sunday Funnies: Young At Heart

We've fixed our uploading issues and to celebrate, here's a fresh Motha Cuttas comic!

Saturday Sound: Whatever You Like

Sorry for the late Saturday Sound, everyone! Here is a cover of Anya Marina's cover of T.I.'s Whatever You Like. Enjoy!

Top Five Friday: Goodbye, Conan

As we're sure many of you know, after two decades of work with NBC, Conan O'Brien left the network due to some messy rescheduling issues. In reaction to this, this week's Top Five Friday was going to titled "Five Other NBC Shows that Jay Leno is Going to Try to Take Over". But as Conan was leaving, he delivered a farewell speech that spoke out against cynicism. Inspired by this, we deleted the old list and instead are saying goodbye to Conan by changing the list from a negative jab to a positive memory of O'Brien's work with NBC. So, after much delay, here's a list of five NBC shows Conan should have been a part of before leaving the network.

1.Chuck



Conan O'Brien joins the whimsical cast of Chuck as tech expert Dennis Lapman, the plucky head of Buy More who offers Chuck a promotion. As the season progresses, the protagonist is gutted between working for the CIA or keeping his tech job until Dennis reveals himself as an evil conspirator. Anything to get Conan in an eye patch.

2.The Apprentice



There's not too much to say here except: replace Donald Trump with Conan O'Brien without trying to make the switch too obvious.


3.Early Today



Conan would up the spice on the Early Today show by fitting segments of the masturbating bear and Pimpbot5000. The morning crowd may not be ready for his lanky antics but it'd sure wake them up.



4.Heroes



There is no choice but to cast O'Brien as Visor, a blood thirsty villain within the Heroes universe. Dressed in an ominous black sweatshirt and dark sunglasses, Visor would be shrouded in both mystery and cloth until the season finale when he would shed his clothes and blind the entire Bennet family. Visor would soon become an obsession for Sylar due to his inability to absorb Visor's power. Every time Sylar would try to cut his head open, his eyes would melt due to the pale power of Visor's forehead. NBC would then follow up the "Save the Cheerleader" and "Are You On The List" ad campaign with "Now You See Him, Now You Can't See". And then Conan would play Spock in the remake of the J.J. Abrams classic.


5.VeggieTales




And finally, the Tonight Show host would reach out to the real youth of America by lending his voice to COCO-nut, an offbeat and oddly named shallot that hangs out with the gang on their biblical adventurings. From the Ark to the battle with Goliath, COCO-nut would constantly break the fourth wall with witty remarks. The Parents Television Council would still complain about the lack of religious content but NBC would see a spike in stoner ratings.

Thank you for years of excellent late night entertainment, Conan.