13 Days 13 Shorts: Spiders/Bats/Attics

So in case you are wondering exactly what 13 Days, 13 Shorts is, I'm gonna break it down. Every day during the 13 days leading up to Halloween, an esteemed writer quickly types up a short story inspired by one of thirteen subjects that were posted in our Facebook group. These subjects are your typical Halloween attire: ghosts, goblins, gnomes, so on. All of the writer's are to exercise their creative muscles to bring something new to these typical Halloween topics.

With that said, I hope you are enjoying 13 Days, 13 Shorts and with just a little over a week left to Halloween, we have some fantastic stories coming up. As for today, the spooky subject is spiders/bats/attic. I tried to do what I could to bring a new spin to these three Halloween archetypes but I also had only 10 minutes to write this story because I procrastinated reading about Jewish immigrants running Nickelodeons. None the less, I hope you enjoy and stay tuned for more stories!

And don't be afraid to comment either on the Facebook post or the blog itself!

SPIDERS/BATS/ATTIC by Omar Najam

"I dare you to go in the attic," laughed Craig.

"I double dear you, bro," retorted Darren.

"Bro, if you do that shit, I'll fucking get you fucking anything you want, bro," said Craig.

Darren considered this carefully.

"What the fuck else you gonna do, bro? It's a Saturday and I'm bored as shit, man. Plus, we're out of beer," argued Craig.

"Shit man, if you get me anything I want....fuck, I'll get you any shit you want, man," replied Darren. He put down his bong, shook hands with Craig and they descended from their web onto the floor and continued to scurry under the door to the attic. Craig and Darren had grown up together and, as they bragged at parties to female spiders, they have "been through a lot of shit". For spiders, they were pretty well off. They were currently squatting in a pretty nice house, or "pad" or "sex mansion" as they referred to it, and had ample access to water and flies. Their parents had encouraged both of them to go out into the real world and get a real job clearing up mosquitos in a barn somewhere but Craig and Darren were content living off of family estate. They high-fived each other and adjusted their visors as they crept under the door into the attic.

Craig shielded his 8 eyes as they peered into the darkness. They agreed that what they were doing was "fucking crazy" and that they would get massive layage after they told their friends about this. Unfortunately, this was not going to be the case because by the end of this story, Craig and Darren are going to be dead.

Darren pulled out his lighter and looked around. He saw a scrap of paper rolled up in a corner.

"Hey Craig!" Darren yelled, "check this shit out! Four!"

He pulled one of his front legs back and let it hit the ball of paper with as much force as possible. It flew up into the darkness.

"Haha," Craig chuckled, "golf is so retarded."

"Seriously, man, and your dad is a jerk for trying to get us to play when we were kids."
"My dad's just a jerk in general, bro! He's always on my back about the lamest shit!"
"Not legit, bro."
"Not legit at all, bro."

Their deep conversation was interrupted by the soft pounding of air. They both looked up just in time to see a pair of leathery wings descending upon the pair. Racing against high hell, Craig and Darren sped away from the creature, ducking under a sheet of cardboard.

"What is that bitch's deal, dude?!" asked Craig.
"Man, I have no idea, that was a fucking buzzkill, bro!" replied Darren. "If I see that kid again, I'm gonna-"

The cardboard was lifted as the bat stuck its nose under the sheet and head-butted it upward. Craig and Darren screamed and crawled towards the door.

"What the shit is that, man?! It's like the shit from Cloverfield!" gasped Darren. Craig was about to reply about how much he thinks J.J. Abrams "kicks ass" when the bat shot towards the floor and landed on one of Craig's legs. Craig howled in pain and tried to slide out from under the bat's foot.

"CRAIG!" bellowed Darren, "BRO!"

Relying purely on adrenaline, Craig pulled his mangled leg from under the bat's foot and hurled himself under the door out of the attic. Darren threw a string of web at the closest surface and the two huddled in a corner of the floor.

"Shit, bro! I thought you were done-zo!" sighed Darren.
"Shit was crazy, Bro," agreed Craig, "did you get that shit on video?"

Darren held up his iPhone. The video was being uploaded to YouTube as they spoke.

"Come on, bro, let's get some ice from the freezer so your leg stops bitching out," suggested Darren. Craig nodded and they made their way towards the hall.

Suddenly a shoe came down onto the two spiders. A 4-year-old blonde child looked down at the splattered bodies under his sole and cried Yuck! After a few seconds, he grew bored and went and made faces in the mirror downstairs as his mother searched for sprinkles for her Halloween cupcakes.

A funeral was held for Craig and Darren. Both of their families were catholic so it wasn't that difficult to combine both services. A scholarship was named after both young adults and there were a few candle lit vigils to end such senseless violence, but the families were never truly consoled.

The scary thing is that two people just died and you don't really care, do you? What does that tell you about yourself, huh? Think about it.